An aspect that is not a very well known factor in successful relationships is the way we make friends and who we prefer for company;¬†our non-sexual gender preference. Being into the same stuff is important to the way that we connect and interact; even the way we think about sex and what we find hot about it depends on the company we prefer…

Let’s talk a moment about the kind of people you wish to hang out with. This speaks more about your sexuality than you can imagine. We all have a gender preference when it comes to the people who we LOVE to hang out with. Most of us get along with either gender without much trouble, to an extent, at least, but the gender that makes us feel alive and happy to be around is the gender that we should name as our preferred non-sexual gender.

The jargon for defining your non-sexual gender preference

I have started to use the terms gynephile, androphile, and gynandrophile to denote the non-sexual gender preference. I am not sure if the ending “philia” is an appropriate one, but then, if it’s connected with the love of knowledge, I guess it’s OK. (Subject to change, however.) Nonetheless, what I want to convey by these terms is to make no assumptions on which gender you are nor about your sexual gender preference, so to call yourself an androphile (in this context, at least) doesn’t mean that you are a homosexual male or heterosexual woman automatically, although you can be.

It is clearly a given, that not all women like to hang out with other women, or that all men love the company of other men as much as others. The non-sexual gender preference you have SHOULD MATCH that of your intended partner. This means that androphile men should seek out androphile women, and gynephile women should seek out gynephile men, and gynandrophiles should match gynandrophiles.

Androphile – a person who prefers men for company (when sex is off the table)
Gynephile – a person who prefers women for company (when sex is off the table)
Gynandrophile – a person who couldn’t choose between the two genders for preferred company (when sex is off the table..)

The Androphiles are intrigued by qualities they associate with masculinity in both men and women. They fall in love with masculine traits in both men and women, such as a logical, philosophical mind, tendency of scientific thinking, competitiveness in all areas of life etc. One major sign of an androphile is valuing the opinion and respect of a male over that of a woman.

The Gynephiles are intrigued by feminine traits in both men and women, nurturing behavior, the ability to give care and to take care of others and their physical needs, their wish to more listen to others worries and emotionally take part in whatever is on their chest rather than actually trying to solve those problems – which is a masculine idea of support. (A Gynephile would appreciate someone getting just as upset about whatever they are worried about rather than be lifted from that feeling by logic and reasoning, which they find cold and inconsiderate.)

A Gynandrophile is someone who is simply enthralled by both genders equally, to whom both qualities are valuable and exciting on a higher level than simply appreciating the value of both on an intellectual level (something that at least the Androphiles would consider in trying to correctly group themselves).

At the end of the day, if you imagine yourself getting stranded on a desert island, what kind of a setting would you feel the happiest with and would feel like your chances of a successful escape would be the highest while keeping interpersonal problems to the minimum? Don’t assume all people would reply the same way as what would feel obvious to you, I, for one, as an androphile woman would instantly say there would be the least amount of problems if I was accompanied by men only. Add one woman, and I foresee drama, whereas a gynephile woman would feel completely unsafe in the same circumstance, and would be, too. See what I mean?

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