The missionary position has a terrible reputation as being something your grandparents used to do in the dark when they were in their 50’s, but in reality, there is a lot to be said about the old favorite that is justifiably the one thing everyone returns to for one simple reason: It feels so freaking good to have everything right where they belong…

missionary positionIt may be basic, it may be what everyone’s doing, but it is popular because there is absolutely nothing wrong with it – in fact, one could say, that in the missionary position, all is the right way around in this world.

The reason why people tend to mock the Missionary has to do with something other than the way it feels. There might be ego involved: “I do not want to be submissive to a man”, it could be the name of it, and because it is so tempting to simply relax into it, people tend to go into acrobatics just to prove their sexual repertoire to exist, even if it meant less intimacy, less feeling everywhere it matters, and a lot more ego and pretence in the bedroom. Everything that has been written against it, must have been a very logical exercise¬†by the people assigned to the job, “I love it, but how do I explain the need to keep away from it…”

My men and I do change positions, of course, but there is always a part of me that wishes they’d quit with the tricks and stick to the basics, but ¬†you know… Everyone is required to hate the missionary position to save face, right, so we go along even if we’re not too interested in the many alternatives. I personally don’t mind it never varying from that by default, especially if one needs to remind oneself of the pending position change. “Oh dear, look at the time, it’s time to do the scissors…” And don’t get me wrong, there are times when other things work like magic, but sex doesn’t work through intellectualizing it, and the other pet peeve of mine is the expectation that men have to hold off until they’re blue in the face, because that, again, makes them disappear into their heads and the emotional connection is lost. I’ve had men do me for hours on end without getting me any closer to the finish line, and I’ve had men take one look at me and send me to the moon. Sex has nothing to do with the mechanics of things… Instincts are what are missing now, but at the same time, what is good about being reminded that there are other positions out there other than the missionary position is that when your instincts take you somewhere else, you shouldn’t feel like you have to stick with the missionary just to be on the safe side. Just like I hate the fact men are told a million times women don’t like anal nor giving blowjobs… And no, I’m not always in the mood for either, but if men were allowed to trust their instincts rather than follow an operator’s manual written by some weird snobby woman, or, perhaps taking the word of a loud-mouthed homosexual over-compensating his lack of experience with women in 1960’s, my life would be a whole lot better.

Let’s just enjoy the missionary position with the lights off if the mood strikes, hell, there’s a lot to be said about doing it in the dark, too…

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