There is something to be said about the competitiveness in the world of the kinky. You can surely accept someone you don’t know being a bigger kinkster than you are, but when you realize that the friend you thought you knew is actually into smearing herself with poop… Your world takes a tumble to a what the fuck upside down.

She delightfully explains to you that the way the heat of the poop feels when she smears it onto herself, and how it has this flowery, beautiful scent to it, and how it makes her feel ah so very alive… You suddenly feel very fucking vanilla. And, when she, thought to be a heterosexual woman, starts insisting that you two had always had a connection and you should join  her in her play with poop… You’re going to run all the way to Shit Vill… No, the opposite direction from there! 😀

I am just saying… How far in the scale of “I have to one-up her on that” did I go before I went “oh Hell no!”? I must say I gave it a good thought, and came up with some pretty working ideas there, too, but I didn’t go into smearing myself with anything… However, the thought I came up with my guys… Yeah, at least I know what that shit is about, but before I got to anywhere near understanding it, it did send me to a tailspin of sorts.

There is a level of shame in our toilet breaks. We are not supposed to smell, and, in some cases, our soul’s history is such that you’ve been sitting in some Buddhist temple at the age of 6 being told that only bad boys poop. That gives a person some hideous scars in the way they think of themselves, and now, at the top of one’s game in the field of his excellence, he still feels like a fraud because he, too, takes dumps like a mere mortal despite all of his screaming fans obviously thinking he does not… At least not frequently or in such volumes… So you do want someone to love you despite the fact you are a dirty, ugly human being who needs to empty his bowl on a near daily basis. (Constipation, anyone?)

The acceptance of each other’s bodily functions, that is what is at stake. When someone has been trained to hold it in – whether it is piss or poop – or has made feel particularly weird about what happens in the toilet, the one thing you need from your lover is for them to tell you it’s OK.

But I still struggle to understand why anyone would need to smear themselves with it, but that is mainly for the humor value of not really liking that person to begin with, and finding it rather pleasant to not understand why she does that. 😀

And, I still don’t fully understand the balloon fetish, either.

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