This page introduces the MAIN romantic relationship dynamics that you might identify in your life.
The Two Opposite Ideals
To begin with, I would like to introduce the two ideal relationship types that are simply a question of preference which one is your ideal and which one you should aim for based on that ideal. The True Spirit Mirror is essentially a connection of mind and spirit; a highly sexual, highly romantic, highly instinctive, and all-consuming relationship, while the Adjusting Spirit Mirror connection is more like complete strangers making a life-long commitment with the romantic ideal of sticking together no matter what – and the things that the no matter what will fend off includes any other people who either one would be attracted to while choosing this relationship, and the height of romance, thus, is that even though they are in love, sexually attracted to, and highly connected to another person, they will not leave this relationship. The first group is always seeking for the HIGHEST POSSIBLE connection, and will ALWAYS release the existing one if either their partner or themselves finds a higher connection to someone else. The True Spirit Mirror -preferrers feel that the height of love is shown by the freedom of choosing who and what a person wants and then, as a result choosing them, the Adjusting Spirit Mirror idealists believe the height of love is commitment despite all other temptations, no matter how great.
The True Spirit Mirror (1st Tier Exact Spirit Mirror)
The True Spirit Mirror relationship starts differently for different kinds of people, but the end result, once in a state of full connection and union, is a blissful, highly sexual relationship that is based on mutual absolute adoration, admiration, and ultimate sexual attraction and compatibility. The beginning of this relationship can be rocky and confusing, but the feeling that the partners share for each other is more “I love them too much to even want to lock them into a relationship, because nobody should taint someone so perfect” rather than “I want to force this nearly perfect person to change so that they would have a chance of loving me”, which is a relationship type often confused with a True Spirit Mirror connection because it is “intense” and “crazy” similarly to a True Spirit Mirror connection. Although True Spirit Mirrors change someone, the change is always enjoyable to both of them, and resistance to “modifications” by the other person is a clear sign of misalignment, disalignment, and some other type of a relationship than this.
The True Spirit Mirrors truly fear that they are imagining it all because it seems too good to be true, or they fear that their instincts are completely off, because they cannot believe someone this amazing would ever think twice about the other in romantic terms… And this is sometimes difficult to believe no matter how much proof they’d have the other loves them truly, making the start of the relationship incredibly difficult to deal with, and a variety of fears and insecurities can cause this relationship to erupt before it has even started.
This is the most difficult relationship type to get fully working on all areas, but once it does, it is true perfection.
The Adjusting Spirit Mirror (Commitment comes first)
The Adjusting Spirit Mirror relationship is based on the couple’s mutual wish to be together forever. The partners don’t need to agree on anything but one thing, and that is that a family connection and a permanent relationship comes by making a commitment to the other person; a promise to never leave no matter what happens. The Adjusting Spirit Mirrors do not love (adore, admire, like, feel positive emotions towards) each other necessarily, they might not even like each other, but they consider this the most romantic part of this relationship; “I hate you and find you annoying and dissatisfying, but I will still stick with you because I am a masochist and you need someone and I need someone and it will be fun trying to tolerate each other until death do us part!”
The Adjusting Spirit Mirrors, who are Fluid Thinkers, would prefer it if divorce was not an option in a relationship. You identify them by their snappy attitude towards anyone who is not dating to find a real commitment and their tendency of shaming people who are seeking casual relationships or are far more cautious about forming permanent relationships with “commitment phobics” or “players”, who, in reality, are simply the True Spirit Mirror -seekers who haven’t found him or her yet. Also, people who want a relationship like this should know that when a person is evasive of the question “so are you looking for something serious/permanent” they are a disillusioned True Spirit Mirror -idealist and they will leave you in the end, or as soon as they find new hope of a more intense relationship.
The Main Trap
The relationship type that I call the Trap is the most common type of a relationship there is. It is a pairing of one of each group above. Neither partner is really in the wrong, but one believes they can’t have who they really want so they should settle for the one who wants them instead, and the other believes in the Adjusting Spirit Mirror -ideal, and believes everyone else wants that, too, but might be “too scared about intimacy” and secretly would love it if someone would show them that they, too, can be loved. Rather than fearing intimacy, however, the people who seek a True Spirit Mirror fear the lack of it, winding up in a relationship where true intimacy cannot be achieved due to two different personalities, and that is exactly what the Adjusting Spirit Mirror idealists represent to them. However, because they want such intimate closeness, they fear that they might have an overly romanticized idea of love and they are prone to settling in their 30’s or 40’s, depending on their gender. This is usually a pairing of two nearly compatible people, the other one of which is “a realist” and the other one is very likely a disillusioned romantic. Most of my writing is to make sure the romantics will never again lose hope, or regain it if they have once lost it.
For the Adjusting Spirit Mirror -idealist, the objective is to form a permanent relationship, in which they often feel like they have to constantly make sure the other partner performs their duty, or, alternatively they convince themselves that their partner wants what they want and is in the relationship out of their complete, free will. For the True Spirit Mirror -hopeful, the motivation to stay is a mix of disillusionment, insecurity, loss of hope, rise of sense of responsibility and “growing up”, “having to face realities”, and “giving up foolish romantic hopes and dreams” and, also, the fear of winding up alone and or never having children as a result of not being able to form a lasting relationship with the one they truly wanted.
For the Adjusting Spirit Mirror -idealist (a Fluid Thinker), the chase can be exciting, there may be a need to “tame a wild one”, to prove one’s own sex appeal, the object may be a popular, successful, or otherwise exciting person, who they don’t really truly value however, but wishes to control to an extent. This isn’t really a malicious intent, but a slight need to “help” the other to stop being childish. There is a dislike of the other person, and “the trapper” can sometimes be very patient, too, “you’ll come around” “you’ll snap out of it” “you’ll see the light”. This sounds awfully machiavellian, but is quite common, and, also, most people would feel the Adjusting Spirit Mirror -attitude is the mature one, the one who understands what relationships are and should be about, the people who preach “responsibility”, “reliability”, “maturity”, and, most of all: “You cannot base a lasting relationship on sexual attraction“… And, that is what they truly believe, too, which makes this an act of love regardless of how much it hurts their object.
(The Trap happens between Active Partial Spirit Mirrors.)